If you all remember correctly, Dawson didn't sleep through the night for 2, yes TWO years. I'm not exagerating or lying or anything like that. We were up multiple times a night for years. Well we have a newborn baby in our family, born 7/29/11 and that baby has slept 7 and 8 hour stretches at a time...and I'm jealous. I think every new mom prepares to be up multiple times a night and I think every new mom should have to experience that because it DOES make you appreciate your sleep a little more...but how do new moms get to be so lucky that their child sleeps and mine didn't?? I can about guarantee that this new baby will not sleep well either. I just don't get so lucky...but I sure am I jealous of those babies that do.
Speaking of jealous-I am super jealous of the moms that don't have a toddler with severe and I mean severe seperation anxiety. It's time for me to come clean. Dawson won't let me leave him with anyone (which would only be grandparents) to go out to dinner with my husband or on a date without a serious meltdown. I can't get him to spend the night away from home and he follows me all over the house most of the time. I love him, Lord do I love this child, but I RARELY get a break. He doesn't even like to be left with his dad. I mean he cries, BIG tears, has really bad meltdowns, and gets terrified when I leave him. Shockingly he will let me leave him with his aunt to go to work for a few hours a week, but that's about it. Most of the time I fall asleep in his bed with him at night because he won't go to sleep unless I'm there with him. I can get up after he's asleep, but falling asleep on his own has never happened. I'm at the end of my rope. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to make him more comfortable with my leaving. I always come back and I'm terrified that if something were to happen to me that he would have a nervous break down. Seriously. I don't know what were going to do when I have to go to the hospital to have Allie. This is exactly why I took him out of daycare (b/c he was miserable, every single day) and one of the biggest reasons I quit my full time job. I can't stand the thought of him being scared and miserable and sad and anxious but I can't ever get a break. A weekend trip with just my husband, never happening. A girl's night....not in this lifetime. I don't know what to do.
5 comments:
:( Aw Mandi. I know that is tough. But with age comes a self sufficiency which will make things better. With the addition of Allie it will force him to accept the fact that someone else will need your time sometimes because she WILL need you and sometimes she will need your attention MORE than he does and that is just a hard lesson for kids at this age to learn. No real advice but hang in there. Reed does have separation anxiety but not to that extent. He has no ever spent the night away from home and refuses to do so but that's life I guess. I hope with addition of Allie and him learning to be the big brother things get better for you, and I will pray for you that she is a great sleeper right out of the gate!
First off, I had a child who slept all night so yeah, no help there. But if it makes you feel better with twins I may never sleep again either.
Second, date nights. Yeah they only happen when we can go out while Jensen is sleeping. I just don't trust anyone enough to leave him with them. Maybe try that?
Third, you aren't going to like this but you need to start some tough love ASAP! If you wait until the new baby is here he will be a nightmare on top of you dealing with a newborn. He will grow to resent the baby for being the change that caused all this. You need to start the changes now. No more falling asleep with you. It's not going to be possible every night with a baby. If he has to scream in his room for an hour let him. He is safe, fed, changed, he doesn't NEED anything. He WANTS attention. You need to leave him with people you trust more often. You cannot tend to him all day with a newborn. He needs to learn to be more self sufficient. How to entertain himself without you being RIGHT there. I highly recommend starting now, or like I said he will blame the baby if you keep continuing on and then everything changes once she is here. And it can absolutely ruin their relationship for life. My parents did NOT prepare my sister for me coming, they got married the month after my mom got pregnant with me and my 7 year old sister was NOT comfortable enough with her new dad and to have me, his first child come along, and see mom and dad with the new baby, she hated me. We absolutely don't have any form of relationship right now because she hated me for years and years. And now there is just too much childhood baggage for us to move on from it. I had to learn from facebook where she lived after her divorce because we aren't even close enough to tell each other where we are living. Her soon to be ex husband was the one who told me about the divorce as well. She didn't even tell me about it (although it was not a shock). I know your son is not my sister and it does NOT mean he will react that way, but I don't see a good out come of throwing all the changes on him at once as well as having a new sibling come in when he was an only child.
Thanks Becca, it is good to know that I'm not the only parent of a 2.5 year that can't get him to spend then night away. Which actually doesn't bother me as much as it does his dad. I'm hoping that with small encouragements and Allie that he'll learn some independence. I wish I knew why he gets so distraught over me leaving. It's not like he's had a major disasterous experience that caused it...
Amy, you're right, with twins you may never sleep again, lol. I am so jealous of babies like Jensen though. Ones that sleep. Other than that D was a super easy easy baby. (Or I think he was.) it's the toddler days that have me stuck. He hasn't always been this way, he used to go with the grandparents no problem. he would spend the night and didn't want to leave. I don't know what's changed, but something has. We are making changes and it's getting better gradually. We are definitely preparing him for her arrival, it's just slow go right now. We did get him out of our bed, so that was a plus! Now I've just got to get out of his bed. The joys or parenthood, right?!
None of my four kids were good sleepers! You'd think I would have at least one! Three out of four had acid reflux so maybe that was why.
Separation anxiety is so tough. But, there is hope! My 3-year-old went through that when he was 2 and now he does great! Though I know each kid is so different. Hang in there!
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