15 months and couple of huge annoyances

15 Months….What?!? FIFTEEN months? Yes that’s how old my tiny baby is…except he’s not tiny and he’s not really a baby anymore either. Every day, more and more he looks more like a little boy and less like a baby. My heart loves this and hates it. He’s definitely growing up and getting SO smart. He repeats everything you say. Or tries to. It’s too cute. He runs, he tries to jump, again the cutest thing ever! When he gets excited he stomps his feet really quick. He’s still a horrendous sleeper, and I’m okay with it. Sure it’s frustrating, but then when we lay down and get a 4 hour nap, I don’t mind it so much. Of course those rarely happen, but he’s only little once. I better enjoy this time when he still wants to snuggle to me. One day, snuggling will be struggle and he’ll win it. 2 years ago, I was almost pregnant with him. I believe I conceived him on April 1 2008, but my period said I conceived him in March. Either way…he’s been in the making 2 years. And I’ve had him in my arms 15 months. It seems so long and so short all at the same time. Part of me cannot ever imagine another child as wonderful as my first born, but I’m sure if I have a 2nd born, I’ll feel the same way about him/her. By the way, I’ve fully accepted that I don’t think I’ll ever have a girl. I knew the minute I found out I was pregnant with D that he was a boy and I have this feeling that my next one will be a boy too…and that’s kind of funny considering we are waiting til D is at least 3 to even talk about another. He’s wonderful. I’m wonderful. Our family is amazing.


Now on to things that have recently really annoyed me.

Insurance- I want a mirena IUD. It’s the perfect option for me, and I desperately want it. Guess what? My portion after insurance is $616.52. This is freaking ABSURD to me. B/C I work and don’t live in the poverty level, and have private insurance, I have to pay almost a house payment to be protected from pregnancy…oh but if I was on Medicaid it’d be totally free to me and our tax payers would cover it….freaking RIDICULOUS. My other insurance rant is Dawson’s tubes. My portion after all was said and done was $1600.00 Yes for 5 minutes in the OR and 2 blue tubes to keep his Eustachian tubes open and functioning. And this doesn’t even include the many co pays we’ve paid for doctor’s visits regarding his ears….anyway $1600.00. So I work at the hospital where his tubes were done, well congratulations to me a $400.00 discount. So I still have to pay $1200.00. More than my house payment. This again, is ridiculous. I work and don’t count on the tax payers to pay my/his medical bills…so instead of having my child get his tubes for free via Medicaid, I pay a freaking arm and a leg for them….it pisses me off to no end. Can I really afford an extra $1200.00, umm no. I sure can’t. Thankfully I can payroll deduct this bill, but for heaven’s sake, no wonder so many of our citizens are in bankruptcy b/c of hospital bills. And don’t even get me started on the premiums. We pay over $100.00 a paycheck and then a deductible and then 20%....I can’t even type, that’s how angry it makes me. And you know what, I don’t see the anything in the healthcare reform bill that fixes this. I mean come on. I’m a middle class citizen, I can’t afford huge medical bills. Granted the tubes had to be done, but what about people who have NO means of paying these bills? Oh, I know. They file bankruptcy and screw the rest of their lives up due to an illness….Oh, and what happens after the 6-12 months when these tubes come out. I can tell you what happens, he’ll need them again, in all likelyhood and we’ll be in another calendar year, so I’ll get to pay this all over again. It’s bullshit. It is really and seriously bullshit.



Again, with the girl babies-Why do people consider female babies superior to male babies, I don’t EFFING get it and it makes me mad. How could I possibly have enjoyed and loved my child since he’s a boy? I’ll tell you, he’s MY child. I love him with my whole being. He’s my entire heart and I’d die for him in .2 seconds flat. I’m CERTAIN that most mother’s feel this way about their children, but seriously ladies, men, everyone….girl babies are wonderful, but so are boy babies…stop discounting the fact that boys are amazing, wonderful creatures too. Besides I’m pretty sure God gives us what we need and not what we want…but if I have to hear how wonderful it is that a coworker is having a girl and not a boy, I might scream…and curse…or both at the same time…and I might get fired for it.

Something that excites the crap out of me? ARMY WIVES!! It's back in about 2 weeks :)

where am I?

Desperately wanting another baby but holding off a couple (or a few) years. Loving work but hating going. Adoring this amazing toddler age and wishing hed never grow up. Missing a newborn and NEVER wanting to do that again. Praying for summer but wanting time to slow down. Thinner but still fat. Hungry but not at all. Happier than ever but still lonely some days. Wedding out and keeping the great influences and saying "buh bye" to the not so good influences. Too old to be young and too young to be old. Where are you at?

Baby fever like whoa!

So the last few days I've been watching my walking, talking, running, fedding himself toddler and my baby fever has truly sprung...even Daniel is making comments about baby names and how awesome being a parent is...I knew I wanted another but that desire is in full gear, BUT we want a spring or summer baby next time...and we want D to be at least 3 which means no on purpose baby making til July of 2011...that's a LONG way aways, but its super close too!!! Of course in the mean time an accident wouldn't be so bad either! I just don't want an accident in the months of March or April, no more December babes for me!

Please pray for the family of Layla Grace. She made her journey to heaven today. Finally she is healed. www.laylagrace.org or www.twitter.com/laylagrace

mckmama is effing crazy!

I'll admit it. I used to be a Mckmama follower and I still pray for her innocent children, but this woman is nuts!!!! And very recently she posted in her community that ALL marriages can be saved even when your spouse is molesting your children. Yes, Mckmama states that child molesters and their spouses can work it out. I think not. Not even close. If any man on this planet even thought about laying his hand on my child in a physical manner, or even contemplated raping my child he wouldn't have to worry about a divorce because he wouldn't be alive. Let me be clear, I would literally put a bullet in the head of anyone that molested my child and for someone that is so widely read to suggest that you work that out is effing crazy. She doesn't deserve her children if she honestly would stay married to a man that molested her children. I mean she says that the solution to domestic abuse is submission to her husband and you know what he openly talks about having a past porn and mastrubation addiction...he very well could be a child molester, but yeah she would work it out with him. Crazy bitch. Check out www.mckmamawithoutpity.blogspot.com for all the lies she spews regularly.