Mind is made up :)

Thank you to everyone who responded to my last blog post about whether or not giving up my “dream job” to go to a part time position is worth it. I have decided that I am going to go part time. I may not take the job that has been offered to me, but I have been looking around and have already had 4 interviews for a part time/prn position. I’m mostly hoping that the PRN position works out, honestly. The hours are completely up to me and I’m only required to work 2 shifts a week. Which means I could work up to 40 hours if I needed to or only 16…..it’s really a GREAT position. I have my second interview tomorrow for this position and we’ll go from there. It’s really been a tough decision, but after weighing all the pros and cons and deciding that time with my little guy is the most important thing, the decision was made. My husband is being super supportive and I’m just waiting until I actually take a position before I turn in my notice….once it’s done it’s done and honestly, I cannot wait!!


In other news, here are a couple cell phone pics of D from yesterday. The two cow costumes are from getting dressed for Boo in the Zoo and the one with the puppies is from my mom’s house.

Personal struggle, dilemma, something...

I’m in a bit of a situation. Granted, a created situation. But, none-the-less, a situation. You see one year ago, I was offered and accepted my “dream job” and it’s turned out to be a great job. But, my heart is at home with Dawson. I have the option to take a part time job that will allow me more time at home with Dawson. He’ll still be in daycare probably 2 days a week, but I will certainly get more time with him. It will also save me the large amount we pay on daycare every week and most importantly, I’ll get more time with him. Here’s the kicker….in my heart, I want to do this. My head? Is screaming not to.


I was raised by a very independent women who insisted on education and having a career that could support myself and my children without the aid of another person. This was drilled in my head literally almost every day of my life. It was my goal and I have achieved that. What I didn’t know was how much I would long to be with my child on the long days at work. What I didn’t know was that my heart wouldn’t be in my career. What I didn’t know was how materialistic I’ve become and how much I hate that. My heart says this is a GREAT opportunity. My head says I’m being stupid. Why would I even logically think about letting my dream job go to a simple part time job? Why would I even consider this? Well my heart knows why. It’s the best of both worlds. My head still says it’s stupid. Financially it would even out pretty much the same when gas and daycare costs are subtracted….so really it’s an internal struggle not a financial one.

If I do this, will I be letting my mom down? Maybe. If I do this, will I be letting my family down? If I don’t do this, will I be letting myself down or my child down? You see I WANT to be the mom at all the events, the PTA mom, the classroom mom, the mom that does all the things with the school and my child. I want another child and I know that logically I cannot in no way shape or form afford daycare for two children. That cost would be significantly more than the cost of my mortgage. Right now I pay what I pay for my mortgage in daycare expenses…..

The only other issue is that right now, being in school, my current employer will give me 75% of my tuition as long as I agree to stay full time here for at least 4 more years. Is it worth it? I mean it’s a great opportunity, but really is it worth it?

Picasso? Van Gogh?

My child may end up being the next big thing in art... Or not :) He's painting his pumpkin from the pumpkin patch...and himself.

UGH!!!

Ever have a day when you want to pull your hair out, throw your phone and your computer out the window of a fast moving car, get a divorce, and quit work all at the same time? Yeah, that’s me today. Normally, work NEVER stresses me. I realize that there are way more important things in life than work, so I let most things roll. But the last week has been insanely busy as I try to set 23 practices up on a brand new payment system. And all 23 practices are having issues which mean my phone and computer have been super busy and I’m being pulled all across the effing country to fix things like check scanners and show someone how to make a proper deposit. Really?!?!?
Also, Christmas and D’s birthday will be here very soon. 12/23/08 is D’s day and then obviously Christmas follows right after…so that means I’m trying to save money for those two events so that it doesn’t just hit us come December. Well, normally my husband telling me he’s going to spend 40 dollars on a phone wouldn’t bother me, but today, it annoyed the hell out me and I flipped out on him. Yeah, I apologized, but damn you have a phone that works just fine, do you really need another one? I mean it’s not even a lot of money, but he called at the wrong time.
Lastly, we’re getting a new roof put on the house today and tomorrow. So that’s a whole bunch of money I’m about to write a check for and honestly I don’t want to. I know that insurance paid for some of it, but I liked that money sitting in savings. And once the roof is one, the savings is back down and that means I have to build it back up…and that just sucks.