Guess what I found!!

Here's the beach pictures! The guy that's holding D that isn't Daniel is my brother in law, Adam...and the girl with me that's got a little girl is my friend, Heather and her little girl, Sydney..who also happens to be Dawson's future girlfriend!

I don't want to

I don't want to talk about letting my precious lil bit cry, so I'm not..just know that a part of me feels like my heart is dying everytime we do this, and I'm not sold on the idea and I might stop. Undecided...

Anyway, I've been promising pictures of D at the beach for a week now and I can't find my stupid USB cord...so I'm going to show you other pictures of D instead, and I promise, when I find the cord, the pics will be up!!

Night number 2...CIO

I don't want anyone to think that this has been easy for me...b/c it isn't. I just spent the last hour watching and listening to my child scream for me...and every time I would go in, comfort him, get him calmer, and then I'd walk away and he'd wail again...and this breaks my heart. I'm hurting inside listening to my child...but I love him, and I want more children, and I want more children sooner than later...and if I don't change something SOON I'm going to cave...I'm going to lose it, my marriage is suffering, my child is an impossible sleeper. My husband hasn't slept a full night in our bed since D was 3 months old...I HAVE to do this. I've tried waiting it out, hoping that he would transition himself into this, and he hasn't...he's 7 months old, and he needs sleep just like I do. Matter of fact, he's growing, and his brain is growing and he needs sleep MORE than I do. This is important for our family...and I'm not a bad mom. I'm full of mommy guilt and this will probably pale in comparison to the things I'll have to endure with D later in life, but right now at this instance this is the single hardest thing I've ever done in my life.

The hardest thing I've ever had to do...

and I just did it...and that was to put my heart into ferberizing (that's the method we used) my child for the first night...I've tried 3 times before this and gave up, bawling, in 3...this time 40 minutes, a diaper change for D, and a shot of vodka later, I have a child snoring away in his crib...and for the first time since he was born, I didn't have to rock him to sleep. Don't be fooled...as excited as I am that he's sleeping soundly right now, I'm terrified of any wake ups tonight, and even more afraid of tomorrow night...and I'm serioulsy struggling with mommy guilt. Now I need to go find my USB cord to upload those pictures from the beach that I promised.

Phew....

It's been a busy week! We made it home from the beach on Friday evening, and I feel like I've been going non stop!! We did however, have a GREAT time, and I have tons of pictures I need to download and show off. It's always nice to come home after vacation, but I had my little sister house and pet sitting, and she did some things that I don't appreciate and I'm pretty pissed off about ( stealing my clothes, jewelry and some cash) but I'm not dwelling on it, and it's been fixed...yes I'm very angry with her, but we'll probably work it out eventually. It just sucks when you can't even trust your own sister. Anyway, Dawson LOVED the beach...he loves being outside and people watching so he had tons of fun! We also went to the outlet stores and found some great deals for D for the winter! I don't even know where to start for the blog catching up, but I'm headed that way!

Sick baby....

so we've had yucky diarrhea for 5 days now...Started on Sunday, and while we're not having 8 diapers a day, I'd say we're still getting 5-6. You name it, I've tried it...and nothings working....this sucks. The good news is, that Dawson does seem to feel okay, he's just going to the bathroom a lot and I'm definitely watching for ANY sign of dehydration.

Update! So I spoke too soon, today, alone we've already had 9-10 diapers and he's only been awake for 11 hours.

Expert?

So I was reading today, and apparently, Tori Spelling is an parenting EXPERT!! Yes, ditzy, virginal Donna Martin is a parenting expert. Now don't get me wrong, I like Tori Spelling as much as the next girl. I watched 90210, all the TV movies, and I enjoy Tori and Dean, but being a parent, doesn't mean you're an "expert" so to speak. If that's the case, I'm an expert dog parent (since I have 3) I must also be a grass expert since I have a front yard full of grass...I mean seriously, Tori Spelling, a parenting expert?!

No title...

just catching up! Now that D is crawling, he's into EVERYTHING!! If he can reach it, touch it, grab it, put it in his mouth, etc...he does! I finally took the bassinet part of the PNP out, and he's happily playing in the bottom of the PNP while I sit here typing. Have I mentioned I have the best baby on the planet?! He's awesome! We're down to mostly waking only once a night, which is great for Mommy and Daddy. Dawson is saying Mama all the time, and I love it!

We had a nice 4th of July, just hanging with family and friends eating good food and watching fireworks!

We leave Saturday for the beach with my in laws, unfortunately Daniel can't come :( Sometimes life as a firefighter doesn't allow for the much time off, so we're (D and I) are cutting our 7 day trip down to 4...it sucks for me, but there's no way I can handle D all week at the beach by myself...

I officially have a crawler!!

So last night, D crawled across the living room, and I had NO time to get the video camera, so I whipped out my phone and caught it on phone video!! The quality sucks, but you can see it anyway!!