Sunday, July 26, 2009
Night number 2...CIO
I don't want anyone to think that this has been easy for me...b/c it isn't. I just spent the last hour watching and listening to my child scream for me...and every time I would go in, comfort him, get him calmer, and then I'd walk away and he'd wail again...and this breaks my heart. I'm hurting inside listening to my child...but I love him, and I want more children, and I want more children sooner than later...and if I don't change something SOON I'm going to cave...I'm going to lose it, my marriage is suffering, my child is an impossible sleeper. My husband hasn't slept a full night in our bed since D was 3 months old...I HAVE to do this. I've tried waiting it out, hoping that he would transition himself into this, and he hasn't...he's 7 months old, and he needs sleep just like I do. Matter of fact, he's growing, and his brain is growing and he needs sleep MORE than I do. This is important for our family...and I'm not a bad mom. I'm full of mommy guilt and this will probably pale in comparison to the things I'll have to endure with D later in life, but right now at this instance this is the single hardest thing I've ever done in my life.
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7 comments:
Mandie you are NOT a bad mom and I don't think anyone would ever think that! You are doing what is best for your family and that is always the right choice. It'll all be over before you know it and this will be a distant memory.
(((HUGS)))
You are NOT a bad mom! It will get better as time goes by and you will be so happy you did it. It will all be a faded memory(for you) when he is older.
Mandie, it's okay, I promise! It feels like the worst thing ever when you're living it, but you really are doing the right thing for everyone. I know from personal experience how rough having a sleepless baby can be on a marriage. A few nights (maybe even a week or more!) of crying, but a happy, well-rested mommy & daddy who are in a happy, content marriage will be better for Dawson in the long run. And you're absolutely right about Dawson needing sleep more than anyone else. Today has been a mediocre day for us (an hour nap in the morning and a half hour nap in the afternoon, and he woke up screaming both times) and Ben is much fussier than he has been for the past week. I can't believe what a difference sleep makes in a child's demeanor. Just goes to show ya how much they need it! Hang in there! You can do this!
Oh, I *hated* the cries. Then I disliked them. Now I do not desire them, but I see them as tantrums and protests of bed time on the off night that she does cry. She sees me and knows I'm there, so when she bucks like a bronco I just let her know it is BED TIME.
Of course then I give in and give her a binky, followed by 1000 kisses.
(I think if the child becomes hysterical or is truly suffering, you know to go in there.)
You are not a bad mom! It is so hard to listen to them cry but I promise it is so worth it in the ned. To keep being the best mom you are you need rest. Baby D will scream for a few nights and then you will look back on this and wonder why you didnt sooner...as you and the hubbs enjoy some alone time together while little baby D is sound asleep!!
Routine is important. A sleep machine might help too. When you go in do you pick him up? We've found that if he just pat his back and not talk to him except a "mommy loves you" and "its bedtime" he does pretty well. Its rare that I have to get him out of bed to soothe him. I know its rough, believe me. But it WILL be better in the end. And there will come a time when he does not scream and cry when going to bed. I *heart* you and you can always call if you need help, a shoulder to cry on, or just another mommy's voice. ~Lacey
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