I don’t know how else to say this, but to just say it. It pisses me off when Mom’s of girls act like their child is better than mine b/c I had a boy. I don’t know if bothers me so much b/c being the mother of a boy is the most amazing wonderful experience of my life, or if I feel guilty b/c I never thought I’d be so happy to have a little boy. When I found out I was pregnant, I knew in my heart from that very moment that Dawson was in fact a boy, but I forced myself to remain “optimistic” that I would have a girl. Well lo and behold at our 20 week ultrasound, D was all boy. I’ll admit I was upset about it. I couldn’t believe I wasn't getting my little girl, it wasn’t fair! God must have had some kind of agenda towards me….he must hate me for giving me a boy. What the hell was I going to do with a son, all I’d ever wanted was a little girl. And I gradually got used to the idea. And the day HE was born, my heart knew that I was meant to be the mom of a wonderful SON. I can’t tell you how amazing my child is, but what I can tell you is there is no way in hell, in any given way, that you love your daughter more than I love my son.
I have a friend who has a daughter and she’s constantly making comments about how having a daughter is wonderful and that she couldn’t handle having a boy, etc….and one of her friends is having a girl, and she’s always talking about how glad she is that her friend isn’t having another boy…Are boys the plague? Is there something wrong with them? Is this country the opposite of China and we don’t want boys? I don’t understand. Let me assure you, my son is loving and wonderful and he holds my whole heart. I couldn’t love 3 girls as much as I love my one boy. Does he have cute clothes, hell yes he does, but they aren’t pink and he can’t wear bows in his hair.
I have another friend who has 2 boys and one girl, and I can tell you that I’ve witnessed on more than one occasion that her daughter is clearly favored. But that could be b/c she’s the baby, I don’t know.
I work with a girl that is pregnant with a girl, and everyone acted like it was amazing that she was having this girl…my question to her was, is the baby healthy? Seriously why does it matter if it’s a girl or a boy if it’s a healthy baby? Will you not love a boy like you do a girl?
What I do know is that I love my son, and I don’t want sympathy looks and conversations from people b/c of it. I love him, I praise him, he has my soul. Just b/c you have a girl doesn’t mean that you joined some illicit club that only moms to girls can be in. Trust me, as parents, we all know the trials and tribulations parenthood brings, but having one sex over the other, doesn’t change the experience.
I know firsthand what it’s like to have a son and desperately desire a girl…and let me tell you…when I think about my 2nd child, I don’t care if I have a boy or a girl, as long as I have a healthy child who is happy.
And let me be clear, not all or even most Moms of girls act this way, but it is something I've noticed in some...and it does piss me off when it happens. It's as if they are saying " You're child isn't good enough, he's a boy..."
9 comments:
I was so flippin' happy to have boys! I KNEW I was destined to have girls and when I found out I was having identical twins I said to myself- "I'm screwed!" Girls are crazy! Girls are DRAMA! Oh I thought I'd be paid back for everything my sister and I put my poor mother through. Then they were born. And they were BOYS! And I'm the happiest mom ever- and I hope I have more boys. Not that I wouldn't love a girl, of course I would. I'm just so stinkin' proud to have boys.
I've noticed this on occasion too. I do hope to have a daughter someday, but I will be just as happy and blessed if I have a houseful of boys (or even just my one sweet little man).
I never wanted girls, and am very happy to have a boy. My husband wanted/wants a girl ... he doesn't know how much trouble they can be :)
We hoped for a healthy baby and leaned toward wanting a boy because they love their mamas! Well, we got a boy and I love him more than anything! I can't put him in frilly pink dresses, but that's ok. I didn't really like wearing frilly anything when I was a kid. I don't really miss it. Ok, well, sometimes a little bit when I find a cute something but really, I wouldn't trade. We're pregnant again and when people say "I'll bet you're hoping for a girl so you have one of each and you can buy frilly pink stuff" I tell them I'll be happy with either but a boy sure would be cheaper. Remind those moms of girls that they have a wedding they should probably start saving for!!!
I actually totally agree and I have a girl! It's so weird this obsession. I made that same point about it being like reverse China here.
The other annoying thing is how people react to second babies of the same sex as the first. I have a neighbor who has 3 girls and she acts all apologetic and explains herself why she has three kids. Why?? And why do people care so much?
If I have another baby and it ends up being a girl, I will physically disable someone for consoling me. HOW RUDE!
I hope I'm not one of the ones you are angry with. I never meant to imply that having a girl was better than a boy. I would love a son every bit as much as I love my daughter; I just can't picture having a son and the thought of having a 9 or 10 year old boy just terrifies me (illogically, I know). Obviously that would change if I were pregnant with a boy. It goes both ways for sure; I have friends who have just boys and they don't ever want a daughter, but if they ended up with one, they'd love her just as much as their sons. I love my children, be it one daughter or a daughter and seven sons, with all my heart and I hope I never gave any impression otherwise.
On another note...Dawson is really adorable. He just gets sweeter every time I see a new picture :)
Mel-not at all. I'm not mad at anyone but it is something that I hear and see frequently and it does bother me everytime.
And LEEK- I didn't know you were pregnant again!!! Congratulations!!
my first child was a boy, and i totally freaked when i found out. i had no idea what to do with a boy... but he turned out to be the sweetest, most loving, cuddly, well behaved child i could have imagined. my second (and last) child is a girl... and i was terrified of raising a girl because i already had 6 years experience raising a boy, and i've heard that girls are such a handful. she's only 17 months old right now, and i'm ready to rip every hair out of my head with frustration. sure, she's sweet and curious and interesting and beautiful and the apple of my eye... but my boy was so much easier to take care of on a BAD day than she is on a GOOD day. mom's of girl's who act holier than thou, are just in denial. the only way they can hold on to their sanity is to tell themselves over and over that "having a girl is great". well. at least that's the way it is with me lately...... ;)
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