Ignore my last post!

Thank goodness!!! No accumulation expected!!! Sorry for starting my last post with a cusre word. Can you tell that I write the same way that I think?

Something always goes wrong, always!

Shit! You’ve got to be effing kidding me. So if you aren’t aware, I live in Upstate, South Carolina…where it NEVER snows and when it does the entire state shuts down. I mean seriously, ½ an inch of snow (which is never actually snow and almost always ice) means no school, no work, nothing’s open…period. So I get the lovely message today that it’s supposed to snow tomorrow, 1-4 inches. Dawson’s party is on Saturday!!! He’s screwed  and I’m devastated. Please pray that it doesn’t snow.

Birthday Planning

So Dawson’s FIRST birthday party is this Saturday…and I’m super excited, but kind of sad too…I mean my little baby will be one entire year old on the 23rd, and that’s only 8 days away! I have all these mixed emotions about it, and that’s probably contributing to my baby fever (although I was with a 2 month old baby last night and had NO desire to have another right now.) Anyway, it seems like yesterday I was in dreadful awful pain, having a much shorter labor than I had ever anticipated (3 hours!) and pushing this incredible human into this world. And my first thought was how amazing God is for allowing people to be parents. He must really have it right, this is love. If you don’t know love after having a child, you must not be human…seriously. I had NO idea how my heart would burst with emotion for my son. SERIOUSLY.


And now I have the honor and privilege of watching him literally walk out of his baby year into his first toddler year. Amazing does not begin to describe it. Speaking of walking, it seems like just yesterday I was helping him roll over and finding the greatest joy out of it when he finally did it…then he crawled and he hasn’t slowed down since! Now he’s walking and screaming and laughing and playing and just turning into this wonderful little boy. My wonderful little boy. What did I do right in my life to deserve this?!

Now back to the party planning. If you’re a normal reader of my blog, no doubt you’ve seen his little fire truck invitations (Thanks Again, Janell!) and you know we’re having the party at one of the fire departments that Daniel has been associated with. It’s going to be very laid back and mostly family and close friends who’ve been there from the beginning and since D isn’t in daycare he doesn’t have that many little friends. So here’s what I have so far:

Table Cloths

Table Toppers

Cupcakes (I don’t have them yet, but they will be ready by Saturday)

Ribbon Pull Pinata

Plates

Napkins

What I need:

Pizza (pick it up on Saturday before the party)

Candy for the piñata

Drinks

Veggie Tray

Fruit Tray

Chips and various other snacks…

And here’s the problem, the various other snacks, what snacks do I need? I could do chex mix….but since there’s pizza I just need snacks….Any advice?

Physical relationship...

If you'd rather not read about my intimate relationship with my husband click off this page...you've been warned.

Now I think it was pretty obvious in a couple of posts ago that I've been struggling with sex. I haven't been enjoying it.I've literally been forcing it and Daniel knew it. It was rough. Our marriage was truly suffering...well I'm happy to report that I had amazing sex with my husband last night! Seriously that was the first time since probably before I was pregnant with D...so almost 2 years. I forgot how much fun sex could be. It's great! And yes this was with my husband...

Baby Fever!

It's hit me, I've been bitten b the baby fever bug. It probably doesn't help that a lot of people that had babies when I had Dawson are pregnant again...but Daniel won't even entertain the idea until July of 2011. Which is fine, I don't really want another baby, I just want the excitement that a baby brings.when are you thinking of adding another?

This will probably piss some people off....

I don’t know how else to say this, but to just say it. It pisses me off when Mom’s of girls act like their child is better than mine b/c I had a boy. I don’t know if bothers me so much b/c being the mother of a boy is the most amazing wonderful experience of my life, or if I feel guilty b/c I never thought I’d be so happy to have a little boy. When I found out I was pregnant, I knew in my heart from that very moment that Dawson was in fact a boy, but I forced myself to remain “optimistic” that I would have a girl. Well lo and behold at our 20 week ultrasound, D was all boy. I’ll admit I was upset about it. I couldn’t believe I wasn't getting my little girl, it wasn’t fair! God must have had some kind of agenda towards me….he must hate me for giving me a boy. What the hell was I going to do with a son, all I’d ever wanted was a little girl. And I gradually got used to the idea. And the day HE was born, my heart knew that I was meant to be the mom of a wonderful SON. I can’t tell you how amazing my child is, but what I can tell you is there is no way in hell, in any given way, that you love your daughter more than I love my son.


I have a friend who has a daughter and she’s constantly making comments about how having a daughter is wonderful and that she couldn’t handle having a boy, etc….and one of her friends is having a girl, and she’s always talking about how glad she is that her friend isn’t having another boy…Are boys the plague? Is there something wrong with them? Is this country the opposite of China and we don’t want boys? I don’t understand. Let me assure you, my son is loving and wonderful and he holds my whole heart. I couldn’t love 3 girls as much as I love my one boy. Does he have cute clothes, hell yes he does, but they aren’t pink and he can’t wear bows in his hair.

I have another friend who has 2 boys and one girl, and I can tell you that I’ve witnessed on more than one occasion that her daughter is clearly favored. But that could be b/c she’s the baby, I don’t know.

I work with a girl that is pregnant with a girl, and everyone acted like it was amazing that she was having this girl…my question to her was, is the baby healthy? Seriously why does it matter if it’s a girl or a boy if it’s a healthy baby? Will you not love a boy like you do a girl?

What I do know is that I love my son, and I don’t want sympathy looks and conversations from people b/c of it. I love him, I praise him, he has my soul. Just b/c you have a girl doesn’t mean that you joined some illicit club that only moms to girls can be in. Trust me, as parents, we all know the trials and tribulations parenthood brings, but having one sex over the other, doesn’t change the experience.

I know firsthand what it’s like to have a son and desperately desire a girl…and let me tell you…when I think about my 2nd child, I don’t care if I have a boy or a girl, as long as I have a healthy child who is happy.

And let me be clear, not all or even most Moms of girls act this way, but it is something I've noticed in some...and it does piss me off when it happens. It's as if they are saying " You're child isn't good enough, he's a boy..."

She was right, this book is AMAZING!!

Karen, you are a lifesaver!


On my last post Karen suggested a book and I immediately went and picked it up. I can tell you I’m only on chapter 3, but I can already tell this is exactly what I’ve been looking for. I highly suggest this book to any new mom, whether you have 1, 2, or 5 children. If you’re feeling spread too thin and like a failure (see last post) you NEED this book!! It’s “I was a really good mom before I had Kids” written by Trisah Ashworth and Amy Nobile. I can’t put it down and I’ve already ordered “Dirty Little Secrets.” Thanks again, Karen!