4th Anniversary

My 4th wedding anniversary is Thursday. 4 years married, going on 8 together. That’s a lot of time to spend with someone. While I can say that my husband has many many many flaws (as do I and 99% of people I know) he really and truly is a great man. He has a compassion for people in general that I envy. I guess my career in healthcare has made me slightly less than sympathetic 95% of the time. I’ve just been burned so often for my sympathy wasted on someone who was full of it and seeking drugs or free something. I know longer have to deal with these types of people and now I work behind the scenes reading very sad cases of very sick children and very happy cases of used to be very sick , but now 100% better children. My compassion for children is different than my lack of compassion for drug addicts. Children deserve all we as adults have to give. We are responsible for teaching children to be adults….hard working, loving, caring, responsible, healthy adults. Anyway, this isn’t about that. This is about my marriage. The day I married my husband was a TERRIBLE day. I handle stress very well, unless it involves me being the center of attention. I don’t really enjoy being in the spotlight and it makes me a nervous wreck. So I was irritated, stressed to the max, and grump ALL. DAY. LONG. And I didn’t make the experience that great for anyone else involved. I’m pretty sure Daniel and I weren’t even speaking to each other during our first dance. And we can’t even talk about the cake experience….(I only asked him one thing and that was to NOT spread cake all over my perfect makeup…asshole didn’t listen  ) We can laugh about it now, not so much then. So yeah, that was the wedding. The honeymoon was good, but next year on our fifth wedding anniversary (or somewhere around that) I want to take a hell of a vacation just the two of us to somewhere I’ve never been and will probably never go again. Lots of sun and alcohol. (Maybe, this might be around the time we will be working on baby # 2.) So yeah, in 4 years we’ve almost divorced twice. I was VERY difficult to live with for about 2 years….so probably my fault. We’ve had the most amazing gift given to us ever, Dawson of course. And we truly enjoy each other’s company these days. In the midst of my on and off depression for the last year we’ve had our downs when I was down, but we’ve also had some ups. We’ve struggled due to the lack of sleep. But now that’s improving and we’re improving too.


Anyway back to Daniel. He’s passionate about his career. I mean LOVES it. Which is a good thing b/c it certainly isn’t the highest paying job in the world, so he better love it. He loves life. Sometimes I watch him leave the drive way on his Harley and I can just see the love on his face. The wide open road with the wind on his skin really flatters him. He really does love it. He’s always loved motorcycles, but he bought the Harley the day after we found out I was pregnant with Dawson. So I haven’t had a chance to ride much, but I’m starting to really love it too. I’d like to take a Harley trip to Charleston this summer. Just a weekend one, but it would be fun.

He loves me. I mean he really loves me. Trust me, I’m FLAWED. I’ve been dealing with and will probably always deal with some mental instability (I’m honestly doing a ton of research on bipolar 2 disorder b/c I can distinctly point out my depressive episodes from my teenage years and my manic episodes too…and my normal episodes. I’m going to discuss this with my family doc when I go back next week. I also have a ton of issues from my less than perfect but not as bad as some childhood that I’ve probably never really dealt with. I skimmed it with my therapist last November but I really need to dive into it. I guess I’ll schedule therapy into my already very overloaded schedule.

I love him. He’s an amazing man. Even though sometimes I don’t like him. That doesn’t last long and I think that’s just part of being married.

He’s got the BEST relationship with his family. Family is so important to him so I know he’ll be wonderful and has already been wonderful in raising our family.

He’s really just an amazing person and the last 4 years have been very up and down, but overall marrying him was the best decision I’ve made so far.