A look back and a look forward...

Taking a cue from Chelsea (even though her post isn't showing up now) I want to reflect on the last year.

In January, if someone had told me I'd be a mom by the end of the year I would have laughed...out loud, like falling over laughing. We had the miscarriage in January and I was certain motherhood wasn't in the cards for me. I was DEVASTATED...and I think that miscarriage may have caused some bonding issues while pregnant this time...obviously not an issue now...anyway, fast forward to April...and indeed motherhood was in my future...and ever since...life has just changed...and all for the better. I've come to know my husband in a way that I've never known anyone. Our relationship reached a new level. Impending parenthood brought out the responsible and intimate sides of us. I love my husband in a totally new way now. My son has made me a different woman, and I can't imagine life without him. I don't want to know what life would be like without him now. The last week has been like a dream Yes I'm tired, yes I'm on edge sometimes...yes I'm learning, but this has been the single greatest accomplishment in my life. I love my son, in a way that I can't describe...in a way that only a mother can understand. My son has definitely been the highlight of my year. and I'm sure the highlight of my life.

I'm definitely looking forward to the first year of his life, to the things I will teach him, and the things he will teach me. I'm looking forward to loving him, and spoiling him, and growing with him. I'm looking forward to the way my relationship with Daniel is going to continue to grow and mature. I love being a parent with him. He's absolutely amazing, and he loves Dawson more than anything, and it's awesome to see them together.

All in all 2008 was the greatest year of my life, and I have a feeling that it only gets better from here.

First Peds Appt.

Dawson has gained 3 oz since birth! I don't think he ever lost any weight, we left the hospital a day early and when they weighed him 12 hours after birth he was still 7lbs 6 oz. They didn't weigh him again after that...so who knows...anyway, she said he looks great! We go back in 3 weeks for the one month appt since everything was great today and he's past birth weight...

oh, and check out this handsome fellow!

hmm..bath time, equals not so much fun

Dawson did not like his first bath in the hospital, and he definitely does not like them at home either :)

Finally....Here's my son: Dawson Lee

Please excuse the loveliness that is me in these pictures, I kinda felt like a truck ran over me not too long ago but I'm feeling much better now...and not looking quite so rough...anyway, Dawson is the cutie, so take a look at him!

pissed...all these awesome pics, and I can't find my USB cord...where the f did I leave it?!!? promise guys, i'm going to find it and share all these pics ASAP!

Feeling much better

Wow, what a difference a few hours of sleep makes...Daniel got up with Dawson last night shortly after my post and sent me to bed for 4 hours, and then we both got up, got Dawson's breakfast and he went down for 3 more hours and we are both well rested now. We were having a very rough night last night, since literally my baby would scream every time I set him down. I think he was gassy, but it's okay.

I can do this, if I can give birth, run a household, work full time, I can handle little sleep.

He really is amazing.

The craziness of it all....

I can't do this...seriously...3 dogs who refuse to cooperate and scare the hell out of me...I don't even want them in the house with Dawson, and I can't kick them out b/c it's their home too!

A gorgeous, perfect child, who refuses to sleep anywhere other than my arms...and a mom who refuses to put him in the bed with her....and I refuse to let him cry it out either...

A wonderful husband who is going to go back to work and leave me to be a "single" mommy for 24 hour shifts..

600 diapers a day, laundry, trying to make time for a shower, or just to pee without a baby in my arms

what was I thinking? How the hell am I going to handle this? I don't even know where to start...

someone tell me, this does get better right?

Don't get me wrong, i adore being a mom, and I love Dawson with my whole heart, and soul, but I'm starting to wonder if I'm really cut out for this.