Thanksgiving.

When I was 2, my mom divorced my father. I, still, to this day do not know the logistics of their relationship. How long they dated before they got married, why they divorced, how life was for me those first 2 years...I know nothing of it. I guess I've never asked my mom. Or I never wanted to know. You see, growing up, my father was in and out constantly. He would be around for a few weekends, then not for a year or so....this was a vicious cycle that I allowed to continue until I was 20. Then, I said no more. I've had zero contact with him since then. I've actually been in the same room or house with him since then (b/c I still have a relationship with my grandparents) and I've actually not spoken to him. While I used to be angry as hell and hurt to the core that he could just abandon me like that..... I've made peace with it, mostly. I still don't understand it and he'll never truly see the pain he caused me. He'll never know how he screwed my life up but just not being around. Still, to this day I have severe abandonment issues...and I'm certain this is why I got married young and why I never have left my child for more than 16 hours...in 2 years. But, all of this has taught me a wonderful lesson.

Growing up, when I was down about my father being anything but a father my mom would always tell me to be thankful for what I have and not focus on what I don't. I've been reminded to not only  remember the great things in life every now and then but every day. To love and cherish family and friends and to focus on what's good. This isn't always easy. Especially on bad days. (Days where we've been negative in the bank and needed gas in the car...of course the mortgage was paid and payday was only a couple of days away...and in the meantime my wonderful in laws were willing to help. I've learned to budget....the hard way.

But this wouldn't be a typical Thanksgiving Day post without a list....so here it goes.

Obviously, my son. He's the typical toddler and gives me a run for my money, but he's my heart and I have never, in my life, experienced a love like the one I have for him. Our bond is unbreakable and I couldn't imagine life without him.

My husband. We may not always get along, but I love that man like there's no tomorrow. He knows my flaws and loves me anyway. He forgives me for my stupid mistakes and bad moods...and he's a great man and a great father.

My mother. She's a strong woman who's been through more hell in her life than I could ever imagine...but she loves us girls and is always here when we need her...even now, that we're all grown up.

My sisters. There is no more annoying thing in the world than siblings...there's also nothing in the world that compares to them. Sure, we bicker and and complain but in the end, I know my sisters have my back and I have theirs. I don't even know if they realize how important they are to me. Unconditional love was first shown to me by my sisters. We've held each other during the bad times. Spent the night in each other's beds. Laughed til we cried. Cried til we couldn't breathe. Stood by each other and just been an ear to speak to. I love these two girls and they make up a huge part of who I am. I can't remember childhood memories where they weren't there, and I wouldn't want to. I see the wonderfulness in both of them, even when they are having a less than wonderful moment. They aren't perfect, but I love them, imperfections and all and I hope when I'm old, that they'll be by my side as we watch our grandchildren play.

My in-laws-My in-laws have treated me like family from day one. They've welcomed me into their home and loved me like I was one of their own. They treat my son like he's the most amazing child on earth and he couldn't be more in love with them if he tried. They are great people and I'm blessed to be part of their family.

While I try to be thankful every single day for my blessings, I know that today I will remember to be thankful and to remind those important to me how much I appreciate and love them.