Sunday, January 3, 2010
What you probably dont know about me...
I'm incedibly shy. Seriously, meeting new people is really stressful for me because my anxiety gets the best of me. Also I was raised in a very religious house, and then my mom lost an infant when he was a few months old and her faith wavered causing our church goings to end. Then when I was a teen she found her faith again, but by this time my shyness caused a significant strain on my church going. So that being said, I believe in Him, I worship Him in m daily life but I don't live the chrisitian life that I should. This has really bothered me over the last couple of years, I want to make those changes and I need to. I've got to just suck it up, find a church home that I feel comfortable in and get my faith back up to where it should be. Problem? I was raised in a strong baptist household and I think I'd rather not be in a Baptist church home. I'm more nondenomonational and while we have "megachurches" around here, I worry that isn't for me either. Daniel prefers a much smaller church where everyone knows everyone and I'm the exact opposite. Since I'm terrified of new people I prefer not to know anyone. Also I've never left D with anyone other than family and his babysitter who's had him since 2 months old. I'm scared to leave him in the nursery or childrens church...but I really want him to have these experiences and build his faith. My question is how do I get past the above and find the right church home? I really want to jump in and build our family on a foundation of Christ and Christianity, but I'm seriously terrified of the church experience.
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5 comments:
We're trying to get back into goign to church as well- it's a little daunting to take 2 toddlers but I need to get on it! I grew up in a large (not mega by any means) Lutheran church, which I loved (but as a dutiful teenager questioned OFTEN). I went to Cathloic mass on campus with my friends in college (they were the only ones that went regularly) and my husband and I attended services at an small old Episcopal church before we moved to Minnesota. My IL's attend a mega church. I have to say the place I am LEAST comfortable is the mega church. People seem so much more in your face there. I like to go to church, hear the message and go about my day. I don't necessarily wan to talk to everyone I see, I don't want to be signed up for any and every event/ function that is coming up. Right now we've got a few churches on our "to see" list we just need to line up my Mom towatch th boys a few Sunday's so we can check it out without the boys. I hope you find a place you like!
Mandie...try visiting churches and see where you feel most at home. Also...before you take Dawson, check out their nursery and see if you can stay in there with him during a service. This way you will get to see how the staff...who are probably other moms voluteering, treat the babies. I started volunteering in our church's nursery a couple of months ago and am glad I did. This is how I got to know the other women, both paid and volunteers, and how they interact with the babies. Its helped tons now that I finally decided to leave Tyler in the nursery. Good luck hun!!! There is nothing like a good church home where you feel welcomed and free to worship. :0)
I can't help you with the church part, but I can help you with the social thing. When you realize everyone is just as shy, and scared and as much of a weak human being as you are I think it makes other people less scary. Everyone has insecurities - they're probably scared to talk to you too!
Besides, what's not to like? You're nice, young, have a nice little family, trying to do good in the world. If someone finds fault in that and doesn't like you "just because" then they have the problem - not you!
Also, sometimes a great hat helps in social situations. I have no idea why. LOL!
Hey Mandi. I know we've had our moments, but I'm just going to share my experience in the "church world." :) I was not raised in church, my parents are not Christians. I've ALWAYS been uncomfortable in church settings (still do sometimes). I dont know what it is about it, I guess it's the whole "lots-o-people" environment I just get scared of. I have been to big churches that were impersonal and yes, it was easy to just go in, hear a sermon, and then leave, but that is NOT the point of church and that is certainly not the point of Christianity. As Christians, God calls us to be relational and fellowship with other believers. That was a hard pill for me to swallow when I realized it because I, too, can be very shy sometimes around new people. We started going to a small Baptist church when I was pregnant with Charlotte and it has been a DREAM. There are only about 60 members, but that just means we have each gotten to know each other that much better. We are all the time going to other people's houses to eat, or theyre coming over here, someone offers to watch Charlotte while I run errands, the young marrieds hang out together, etc... It really has been wonderful and something I NEVER thought I would want, but now that I've experienced it, I realize I really do want it. :) If you'd like help with finding a church in your area, let me know!
Hilary, thank you very much! You made some really good points, and I think you're right. Maybe a smaller more intimate setting will be what the doctor ordered. I think this weekend we'll try out the Church DH likes (it's where his best friend goes) and take it from there.
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