What a week!!

Today I worked and then after work I went to Gattitown (similar to chuck e cheese, without the mascot) with my sister and nephew. I enjoyed watching D and my nephew, who is 13 months older than D play together...it was so much fun and it makes me want another child ASAP. I can't wait to watch D play with his sibling.

Tomorrow-Is my last day at my full time job. Friday is my technical last day, but that brings me to Wednesday.

Wednesday-D's getting his second set of tubes and his adenoids taken out.

Thursday-Thanksgiving dinner with two families; mine and the hubbies. And I need to squeeze nap time in there somewhere.

Friday-I'm actually done Christmas shopping so I don't know if I'll hit up black Friday sales or not...but we'll see.

Guess who's sick...AGAIN?! Yeah, D is. FML

What disgusts me.

When I see things like this...I want to throw up. What type of world are we living in? Where it's okay for parents (step parents, ARE parents) to harm and even kill their children? Caylee Anthony, Kyron Horman, Zahra Baker, and those are just three that come mind. These innocent children, who only loved and trusted their protectors...and those protectors turned on them. In my mind, there is a special place in hell for people who harm children. (yes, I realize that in all 3 examples, no one has been found guilty of harming these children, but with the facts that lead to the suspicions, you can't deny that it's pretty obvious that these children were harmed in some way shape or form by their parents/step-parents.)

I had always heard that a mother's love was indescribable. And, it really is. The mere thought of harming my child makes me sick to my stomach. I cannot imagine the evil a person  must have inside themselves to hurt their child. Love doesn't even describe what I feel for my child. I don't understand how people that only want to harm children and repeatedly abuse children are given the gift of parenthood...when there are people in this world that would only love and cherish children that they may never have. I know it's not my place to judge or decide, but working in pediatrics I see cases of children that are harmed and killed daily. Shaken Babies, neglected children, physically, sexually, mentally abused children that will never know what it's like to just be loved and adored. It's so unfair.

Can't sleep.

I'm up. I'm not even tired. I have to work tomorrow. I miss my husband. He's away for 6 days and that's 3 days longer than we've ever been apart. My heart is aching and he's only been gone a day. He left this morning at 4:30. Once upon a time, I loved the nights when I was alone. I could do and watch whatever I wanted and go to bed whenever I felt like it. Now I miss the warmth of my husband in the bed next to me. I miss the scent of his aftershave and the comfort of waking up in the middle of the night and knowing he is there. Sure, he'll be home Friday night...and I'm certainly used to being alone, especially during the night shift part of his tour. But, I still miss him. I'm really looking forward to the changes that are coming up in our family. But first, some things I'm not looking forward to...
Dawson has to get another set of tubes on the 24th and his adenoids taken out. He's had more ear infections than I can count in the last year and that's with tubes...so when I was told they had come out a couple of weeks ago (when he had pneumonia) I immediately called the ENT and made an appointment to talk about them going back in. Couple that with the fact that the deductible will have to be paid again come January 1, I felt like we should go ahead and get it over with. His ENT thinks the adenoids need to come out too, so we'll do all of that at the same time. It's never easy to see your child taken from your arms to go to the ER even if it is a tiny procedure that is super common. Now that he's older than he was at 14 months, I dread the sound of his cries and screams when they come to take him from me to go to the OR. The thought of that brings me to tears and breaks my heart.

But we'll get past it and he'll hopefully have fewer to no ear problems from here on out. 11/23 is my last day at my full time position. I start training for my new part time position on the 29th. I'm looking forward to this change more than I can explain, but I'm also a tiny bit apprehensive. I have faith that it will all work out though. Where there's a will there's a way.

Happy Holidays!!

It’s that time again…you know…time to start planning the holidays. If you’re like most people, holiday cards are on your list, but definitely further down than presents, food prep, travels, etc. You’ll probably through something together last minute….well not this year!! Shutterfly is offering some beautiful cards for the holiday season, and you’re if you’re a blogger, you’re in even better luck!! Shutterfly is giving away 50 free cards just for being a blogger.  But, wait, even better....say you don't celebrate Christmas...that shouldn't stop you!! They have cards for all Holidays!! Hanukkah and Mother's day.  You don't want to be stuck in a situation with a holiday approaching and you have no card to send to anyone. What's a better excuse to show off your beautiful family than a Holiday card?? And...also, Birthday invitiations....yep personalized invites that are way better than store bought fill in the blanks.  

Finally, not only can you get cards, but you can get gifts. Calendars, photo books, and much much more.

And remember, if you're a fellow blogger, you can get in on this deal for FREE!!

Internal Struggle

So, today, I gave my three week notice at work. To say that making this decision was the hardest decision I’ve ever made in my life? That, would be a understatement.  You see, this decision is not one like saying I’ll have pizza for dinner tonight. Pizza isn’t going to make or break your dreams and goals….but a major career decision, such as leaving your dream job to go to a part time job that comes with less hours and less pay, well that is a make or break situation. My heart wants what it wants. And what that is? Is to be able to have more children and not have to pay daycare full time for two kids. My heart wants to be with my son and enjoy simple things like the sunshine and icecream together without having to take time off from work or wait til the weekend.  My mom says that when you make decisions for the right reasons things just work out. I have to believe that. I’m taking a leap of faith doing this. I’m excited and really nervous for this change, but I’m going to enjoy it. I’m going to know that I followed my heart and that I truly considered the pros and cons and didn’t make a split second decision. I’m going to enjoy this. And when I look back, I’m certain I’ll have no regrets only wonderful memories of time spent with my child and future children. My marriage will be better for this and my parenting will be too. Thanks for all the words of encouragement. It helps to know that I’m not the only one that has had to make such a difficult decision.  

Major Changes and Pneumonia

Well, I did it. I accepted a PRN position that means I’ll make much less money but have MUCH MORE TIME HOME WITH MY BABY!! Honestly, I’m super excited. I’ll start the first week of December and I can’t wait. D will be going to daycare only 2 days a week and I’ll get him with me the other 5  Awesomeness. I have met several ladies that I’ll be working with and honestly, in my heart I know I’ve made the right decision. I’m leaving my “dream job” behind but I’m getting to follow my heart and be with my child and hopefully have another child soon. Life has been full of big decisions here lately, but I feel like I’m making the right ones.


Not so awesome? D is battling and winning pneumonia. Happy that he’s feeling much better, sad that he had to deal with this in the first place. Sunday we were at the doc for croup (second time with croup in one month) and an eye infection…then Tuesday at the pediatrician with a junky sounding cough and diagnosed with pneumonia. After two shots of rocephin and countless breathing treatments he’s finally sounding much better. Scary thing to see your child struggling to breathe.

Other news? None. Life is busy, but sweet.